can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

he’s like a teenage girl at a sleepover

(Source: power-of-angel)

thalassiq:

looking for: someone with a lot of money whose parents are nagging them to get married but they dont want that kind of emotional commitment. i will be your spouse and you can cheat on me whenever you want i dont even care. you can have an orgy in our bedroom. just leave me your credit card and buy me a corvette. i feel like this is a fair transaction.

thedailyboard:

Skateboard deck
Plenty of amazing boards on TheDailyBoard.tumblr.com

thedailyboard:

Skateboard deck

Plenty of amazing boards on TheDailyBoard.tumblr.com

best-of-funny:

thefaultinourdoctors:

theangelgabrieldidmyhair:

that-kid-from-london:

oprahwinfried:

chickiefingie:

the fact that you can’t highlight words that you accidentally caps locked and hit Caps Lock to get them lowercase is the reason i can’t sleep at night

except that you can do that

image

then press shift + F3

image

congratulations

WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS

April 22, 2013: the day my life changed forever

image

X

american-mouth-flightless-bird:

"ARE WE REALLY HITTING ON EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW OR ARE WE KIDDING?!!" The Musical.

pantyslime:

shine bright like an overly detailed anime eyeball drawn by a seventh grader on their math homework

  • Didnt tell my boss Im heading to Glasgow this weeked. She's gonna kill me

inoriaizawa:

in honor of Mean Girls’ 10th anniversary, here’s an incredibly subtle but completely extraordinary joke that you’ve probably never noticed from the movie (I saw it at least a dozen times before it dawned on me): Regina George started a rumor that Janis Ian was a lesbian in the 8th grade, but it wasn’t out of malice… it was because Janis told her that she was Lebanese

(Source: imsirius)

mazarinedrake:


xybutt:

tibets:

tibets:

here is a corner of a room that has a penis and balls

i have truly posted some things online

to the windowto the wallsto the corner dick and balls

oh those crazy aristocrats

mazarinedrake:

xybutt:

tibets:

tibets:

here is a corner of a room that has a penis and balls

i have truly posted some things online

to the window
to the walls
to the corner dick and balls

oh those crazy aristocrats

MAKE ME CHOOSE:
mskingston asked: The Malfoys or the Weasleys

thebarricadesoffreedom:

It’s come to the point where I regard ‘Pontmercy' to be an adjective, noun and verb 

bangarz:

I just found the best Facebook page
bangarz:

I just found the best Facebook page
bangarz:

I just found the best Facebook page
bangarz:

I just found the best Facebook page
bangarz:

I just found the best Facebook page
bangarz:

I just found the best Facebook page
bangarz:

I just found the best Facebook page

bangarz:

I just found the best Facebook page

And amongst other things my kid needed the bathroom in NYC and so I stopped a security guard whilst in the big BBC type building. He was an asshat and wouldn’t tell me where a bathroom was. He told me I’d have to pay at least $1.25 and walk three blocks to the Empire State so I told him to go fuck himself and went into the staff ones before I woke up. There are three morals to this story: never eat before bed, I’d make an awesome mother and always use the staff toilets instead of paying.