looking for: someone with a lot of money whose parents are nagging them to get married but they dont want that kind of emotional commitment. i will be your spouse and you can cheat on me whenever you want i dont even care. you can have an orgy in our bedroom. just leave me your credit card and buy me a corvette. i feel like this is a fair transaction.
the fact that you can’t highlight words that you accidentally caps locked and hit Caps Lock to get them lowercase is the reason i can’t sleep at night
except that you can do that
then press shift + F3
WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS
April 22, 2013: the day my life changed forever
"ARE WE REALLY HITTING ON EACH OTHER RIGHT NOW OR ARE WE KIDDING?!!" The Musical.
shine bright like an overly detailed anime eyeball drawn by a seventh grader on their math homework
in honor of Mean Girls’ 10th anniversary, here’s an incredibly subtle but completely extraordinary joke that you’ve probably never noticed from the movie (I saw it at least a dozen times before it dawned on me): Regina George started a rumor that Janis Ian was a lesbian in the 8th grade, but it wasn’t out of malice… it was because Janis told her that she was Lebanese
It’s come to the point where I regard ‘Pontmercy' to be an adjective, noun and verb
I just found the best Facebook page
And amongst other things my kid needed the bathroom in NYC and so I stopped a security guard whilst in the big BBC type building. He was an asshat and wouldn’t tell me where a bathroom was. He told me I’d have to pay at least $1.25 and walk three blocks to the Empire State so I told him to go fuck himself and went into the staff ones before I woke up. There are three morals to this story: never eat before bed, I’d make an awesome mother and always use the staff toilets instead of paying.